Words.

I may start crying again as I write this.

 

Yesterday, when I picked up Samantha from school, I noticed she wasn't acting like herself.

She was sad. She wasn't excited to tell me about her day.

When I picked her up, she was the only one working at tracing letters of her name, and the teacher wasn't helping, but instead sitting at the computer.

Sam didn't run up to me with joy.

She simply said, "Can we just go home?"

 

I stopped outside the school doors and said, "Sammy, how did you like school today?"

Samantha responded, "I don't like school when I'm in Ms. So-and-so's class.

I asked her what was wrong.
"Ms. So-and-so said that I wasn't good at drawing my letters."

Panic set in.

"Did she really say that you weren't good? What were her EXACT words?"

Samantha said, "She said I'm NOT GOOD at it!"

She started to cry.

I started to cry.

 

We headed to the car, where the other two kiddos were waiting.

"Mommy, I don't want to go back. I'm not good at drawing my letters, and everyone else is."

 

I wanted to go back into the school and confront her teacher.

Scream, be mad, and tell her off.

Instead, I tried composing myself, and kept questioning Sam about it.
She reiterated what was said, and I asked her to tell me what a lie was, and the truth, because I wanted to make sure that this really happened.

She cried and said "Mommy, she REALLY said that!"

 

She then apologized to me for making ME sad.

My child is amazing.

 

I decided to drive around the school, and come back to talk to the principal.

With all three kids in tow, we went to the principal's office (which I must say, is my first time, ha. And I was nervous.)

When I sat down, I immediately lost my emotions, and started crying.

 

"This is my first time having a child in school, so I don't know what the 'norm' is for behavior from teachers, or what to expect from my child. HOWEVER, I have to believe that teachers are supposed to motivate students and never put them down."

 

Mrs. Principal asked what had happened.

 

"I have to believe my child, because Sam does NOT lie. Ms. So-and-so told her she wasn't GOOD at writing. She actually said NOT GOOD, and that is NOT OKAY!"

 

Mrs. Principal asked Samantha to tell her what was said, and asked her if she knew the difference between the truth and a lie. She then told her that she was beautifully made, intelligent, and amazing. She reassured me that the issue would be addressed.

 

"I understand you're going to question it, but I have a hard time believing that Ms. So-and-so is going to admit this action. I do not want any other stress on my child because her teacher has been called out on a huge mistake. Samantha now feels that she isn't good at something, and at FOUR, she should not be feeling that. So, please be cautious in using our names in your conversation with her teacher."

 

She reassured me she would use discretion.

 

I was still steaming mad.

 

This morning, Samantha asked me what class she was going to go to today.

(She goes to one class MWF, and another on T/TH.)

I told her it was the other teacher.
"Good, Mommy. I don't want to go back to the other class. I'm not as good as the other kids in there."

"Samantha, remember what Mrs. Principal told you? You are beautifully made and amazing."

-"No, I'm not Mommy. I'm not good."

 

I held back the tears.

"Samantha, you are perfect in my eyes. You will learn, and you will do remarkable things with your life. You'll be writing your letters in no time flat, and you'll prove to your teacher how amazing you really are."

 

"Yeah, but I don't want her to be mad at me for telling you and Mrs. Principal what she said."

 

-"Samantha, that was the right thing to do. No one should ever make you feel like that."

 

"Yep. Thanks for being my mom."

 

The tears did flow after that.

 

My beautiful, amazing child feels horrible.

At four, this shouldn't be happening.

Teachers should be lifting up their student's emotions and praise them for being who they are. They shouldn't be putting them down.

 

I am worried about reprucussions for discussing this with the principal.

The teacher that did this isn't exactly friendly.

She tends to be very cold when I drop off Samantha and pick her up.

I really believe she needs a new profession.

I'm terrified of any confrontation that may occur next Tuesday.

But, I will stand my ground.

My child is amazing, as are all children.

And if she can't see that, then I feel sorry for my own child, the other children in her class, but most of all her. Children bring joy to life, and she should really see the joy and not dampen it.

 

This is a reminder of how words can affect those around you.

 

You is kind.

You is smart.

You is important.

- The Help

 

Melissa