So, Now That We've Met...

We have met.

Me & Dr. Thambi.

 

No Irish accent.

But, wow. Very good doctor.

 

I was asked many questions.

-Have you lost weight?

Well, I had lost a ton of weight a year ago, but then my new medications caused an incredible weight gain.

 

-Do you vomit?

Daily. Had a scope to rule out any tummy issues.

He cringed. Asked what doc did the scope. Asked if there was follow-up.

Nope.

I saw frustration and anger in his face.

 

He then showed us the CT scan.

It's a very large solid mass... growing into the pancreas itself. Which I guess makes it worse.

B asked how big the tumor is in comparison to the pancreas itself.

Dr. T held up his hand, said the pancreas was about the size of a "normal" hand, and my tumor was the entire front part of the hand (like the thumb and pointer finger).

 

Dr. T is very concerned.

So, he's setting up a biopsy.

And since he's so concerned, the doctor that typically does these biopsies at Sanford, is out of town until the 20th... because of the necessity to have an answer SOONER than LATER, he's having a doctor at the other hospital in town do the biopsy.

 

It could be cancer. Which makes me shiver.

And even if it's not cancer, this tumor needs to come out.

He said it would only be a matter of time before other side effects would surface, causing major issues. (The puking and weight issue is a side effect.)  He said that when people have chronic pain, doctors over look some things because they can be medication side effects (like the weight issue) or just something that happens from having chronic pain (like the puking). SO, this would have been found, even if the CT hadn't happened when it did.

 

*Sigh.*

 

I know that people are worried. Hell, I'm not sleeping well, even with all the meds I take. I am physically shaking most of the day, and I can't focus.

 

 I am staying away from Google. I don't need to know the really bad things this could be. I'm leaving the answers up to the doctors.

 

There will be an answer soon. And hopefully it's "just" a mass, and not cancer.

Until then, I hope we can function normally at my house... it's not happening yet... but soon, I hope.

 

I don't want to miss World Finals. I don't want to miss my MOH role in Ann's wedding. I don't want to miss out on any of my kids lives... because I've done enough of that with the chronic pain.

 

I'll get through this. I have to be strong, even though I feel as if I'm weak.

 

Melissa