Hormones.

I'm not sure how to feel today about lots of things. My hormones are going crazy. I'm going stir crazy from having to be somewhat bed-rested... and my emotions can't handle very much!

I found out a biological family member may have a brain tumor. I've pretty much written these people out of my life... but have small looks into their lives via facebook. I don't know if I should feel saddened or just cest la vie about it. I don't want to be a bitter person, but I don't want to get caught up in their lives, when I asked my egg donor to stay out of my life.

Then, an astonishing email. Something I wasn't expecting. Ignore it? Reply? Send? I hate letting people back in my life. I don't trust people easily. I typically read into things... emotion takes over reason. I'm like a donkey- heeing and hawing about what to do.

*Sigh*

My blood work wasn't promising. I'm "pre" preeclamptic. I'm supposed to take it easy... "active" bed rest (what an oxymoron). No lifting over 20 pounds. (My girls are 25 and 31 pounds!) No straining myself. (I need to do laundry.) Rest. Rest. Rest. (Followed by tears, tears, tears.)

I'm always hot. I'm cranky. I'm emotional. I'm exhausted.

28 weeks pregnant... forever to go!

Melissa