Nerves.

I leave for my next OB appointment in less than an hour. I've never truly been nervous about an appointment... usually excited because I get to hear that sweet heartbeat... and usually hopeful that something new will happen in making my hyperemesis and headaches go away.

Today is different. I'm nervous. It's probably all in my head. But I can't seem to shake the idea that something is wrong. I don't feel "right." Lately, I've been getting dizzy a lot. I'm winded just going up stairs. I can see clearly for about 5 feet in front of me, and then things start to blur. I'm out of breath. Even when resting, my heart seems to be going a mile a minute. I'm exhausted, yet can't sleep. I'm having cramps, more regularly now.I keep missing out on Samantha & Maggie's lives, because I can't keep up. I can barely pick the girls up without feeling winded.

I think I'm nervous, because I don't know what my OB will say. I also think my nerves are kicking in because I'm worried there will be no solution, and that I will have to continue feeling like this until Gavin is born. I want closure to all these problems... and I can't stand that "giving birth" seems to be the closure I have to wait upon. I want to enjoy being pregnant. I want to look back and go "wow, what an incredible and positive experience that was!"

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I'm back from my appointment. I wish I could give a big sigh of relief... but alas, a waiting game has begun.

My blood pressure was high. 149/99... then 135/95... then 129/95. I was sent for a gammet of bloodwork, and a urine test. It'll be a few days before the test results are back. Until then, I'm supposed to be on what she called an "active" bed rest. Meaning, stay resting unless absolutely necessary I do something. I have a phone call into her, because I'm just not sure if taking Samantha to her two year check up tomorrow is pushing it. Hopefully, it's nothing, and just a fluke. Hopefully the dizziness, blurred vision, and exhaustion will go away.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Melissa