Heart Breaking.

"Mommy, Go home if you don't feel good." - Samantha

My heart breaks more and more each day.

I try, to see the kids every day, but the noise is unbearable.

It's not screams of pain or anger or anything negative.

It's screams of happiness... "Daddy! Grandpa! Grandma! Maggie! Mommy!"

It's laughter. It's neverending talking by Samantha.

But to me, with an excruitiating, neverending headache, it's awful pain.

So seeing, which lately feels like "visiting", is painful.

I leave Sunday for Ann Arbor. For at least 2 weeks.

I'm hopeful that maybe they'll discover the cause of the headaches quickly and I'll be home sooner.

I'm very worried that I'll miss Christmas. And I'm already saddened that Brandon and I won't be together on our 5th wedding anniversary.

I'm worried that when I return, Gavin, who will be almost 3 months, won't know who I am.

I'm thinking of sleeping with one of his blankets for the next few nights, so he'll remember my smell. 

I have him today, and already my headache has worsened from some of his crying, but I'm not giving up- I want my baby to know his Mommy.

I haven't slept in nights. I can barely eat. The pain is so intense.

I'm trying to remain positive that this will be the solution, but it's getting so difficult when all I feel is pain.

I'm asking for prayers. Prayers for the doctors. Prayers for my kids- Samantha, Maggie, and Gavin. Prayers for my Mom who is driving up from Georgia to Michigan to be with me during the stay. Prayers for my husband. Prayers for my family that is worried. And hope. Hope that I'll make it home for Christmas.

I hope to blog about my "adventure" while I'm there.

Melissa