Normal?

"Dear Lord, Make me a bird, so I can fly far, far, far away." - Jenny in Forrest Gump.

That's how I've been feeling lately. I just want to disappear. What mother says that?

I'm having a rough time emotionally and physically. I've had a headache since October 27th. My neurologist said that he's given up... he won't treat me any longer. The pain doctor/ neurologist I found, can't see me until February 24th. I was at acute care twice this weekend, and they said they'll no longer give me toradol. My personal physician says that a neurologist has to treat me.

Where's normal? Is this my new "normal?" Unable to function... unable to take care of my children... losing my patience at anything or anyone?

I cry. At the drop of a hat. At the tear of a child. At the dish that gets left in the living room. At the headache that won't go away. At the husband that works his butt off and comes home later than usual. At anything, it seems.

I scream. I hide. I cry some more.

February 24th can't come soon enough.

Melissa