Delayed.

I don't like being stopped at a red light. Or a stop sign. I speed through yellow lights.

Before having my children, I was pretty intelligent. (It's amazing what pregnancy, and raising children does to a brain.) I sped through homework assignments during school hours. I maintained good grades. I never studied, and passed.

I don't like waiting for anything. My parents call me "Microwave Melissa" because I want things in an instant.

Yesterday, I had the official meeting regarding Maggie and her learning difficulties. I refuse to call them disabilities, because I'm sure she'll overcome these delays.

The results:

Personal Social- Great (She follows directions, can tell the difference between male/female, etc)
Adaptive- Above average (She can pick out clothes, use a fork, organizes her own activities, etc)
Gross Motor- A little below average (Unable to walk backwards or throw a ball 5 feet)
Fine Motor- Average (She can hold a crayon, and draw a line)
Cognitive- Great (She located hidden items in a picture, knows her colors, shapes, etc)
Communication- Average (She knows toward/behind, knows who/what/when/why/how, etc)
Language- Average
Expressive Language- Average
Articulation- Below POOR

I disagree with the gross motor being below average. This child is a crazy climber and athletic. They said she couldn't throw a ball well, or walk backwards. Which is insane, because I'm pretty sure she just moon walked by me.

The reason for the screenings is because Maggie doesn't speak well. She has a lot to say, but most of the time, her words aren't understood.

There are 77 "target" sounds in the English language. Maggie got 14 correct. That's 66 errors out of 77.

"She was very difficult to understand even with the context. Her spontaneous utterances were generally not understood. Multiple articulation substitutions and omissions were observed throughout the session. She appeared to have a pattern of omitting and ending consonants and dropping off syllables in words. Maggie requires specialized instruction in a structured environment to develop appropriate articulation skills. If Maggie does not receive this placement she will not make appropriate progress in her articulation development."

So what does all this mumble jumble mean?

Maggie requires speech therapy every week. They'll focus on 10 sounds at first, and build from there. They will continue to monitor her gross motor skills, and if those don't improve, then she'll be put in a physical therapy program. (I think she's just fine here.) They'll also monitor her mood and frustration as she slowly learns to speak in a more understandable way. If the frustration and anger issues don't improve, then they'll seek additional help.

*Sigh.*

I don't like labels, so I definitely didn't like the evaluation team stating that she was developmentally delayed. I think part of the reason is that I blame myself for the delays. If I hadn't had a horrible pregnancy, and needed medication, she wouldn't have been born with withdrawal symptoms. If I hadn't had a difficult pregnancy with Gavin, or didn't have brain surgery, or didn't have neuralgia, I would have been around her more, and focused on language development. The list goes on and on.

I'm not one to plan a pity party, and that's not the focus of this. I'm very frustrated. I know I couldn't help my difficult pregnancies. I know I can't help my disability. These things are all beyond my control... just as Maggie's "delay" is also beyond my control. I just wish that Maggie didn't have this label.

I am her advocate. I pushed the school system to re-evaluate her... I knew something wasn't "right," and made the choice to have her screened. I will be with her every step of the way. I will be there, as she gets older, and continues speech therapy (apparently she'll probably receive help through elementary school). I will be there when she becomes frustrated. I will be there to tell her she's not different, but unique. I will hold her hand. I will hug her. I will dry her tears.

I will be strong.

And soon, Maggie will be excelling through this, learning, speaking better, and speeding through school, just like her mother did.

Melissa