Self Awareness

My self awareness has become that I am entirely large.

... a little girl was walking by our house yesterday with her family... she got about a house or two past us, and asked her mother "mommy, why is that lady soooooo fat?!" #1, at this point, I'm already feeling like a large whale. I can barely move, get off the couch on my own, or walk normally. #2, the girl's mother wasn't exactly thin... I wanted to yell "I'm pregnant, what's your mom's excuse?!"

... Instead, I made Brandon tell me I was beautiful. And shed a few tears. Damn hormones.

I'm sooooo ready to be done. She can come any day. I'm exhausted. I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about labor... strike that, it's more than thinking, it's over-analyzing, and having nightmares over the whole concept.

I barely fit into any of my maternity clothes. I went to take a picture to update all my far-away friends on my belly... but I looked absolutely ridiculous, and deleted the picture immediately. I guess it doesn't help that I don't do my hair anymore... it's showered, dried, and thrown up right away. And I can't remember when I last wore make up. I'll have to tomorrow because of many different things I have to accomplish, which means I actually will leave the house... haha, but other than that, I'm turning into a recluse.

There's other things on my mind as well... Brandon & I are trying to get things settled with some of them, so hopefully there will be positive resolution this week with a few things that have been stressing us out.

I did successfully pack for the hosptial. I think. I'll probably forget 10 things, and make Brandon run back and forth to the house and hospital to get them all... but I attempted to follow the lists that came in the many free magazines I've received lately. :) Good thing the hospital is like 1/2 a mile to a mile away... haha.

I have another OB appointment on Wednesday. I don't like them now... because they "check me" each time. It's so very uncomfortable. Hopefully there will be futher dilation, and she'll say, how bout we have this baby in 2 days... I say 2 so that my parents have time to get here! :)

More later,

Melissa