Strange Feelings.

I found out a few weeks ago that my biological grandmother passed away from pancreatic cancer.

I met her 10 years ago.

I found out that she was the only person to hold me after I was born.

I found out that she was the one person that wanted to keep me.

I knew that she had cancer. I knew that they weren't treating it. She was living the last 10 or 15 years in a strange state. She suffered a stroke many years ago, and struggled to talk, move... live a "normal" life.

When I met her, she cried. She held my hand... and cried. She said a few words. Of them, "I never stopped thinking of you." And "I love you."

I was told to read her obituary.

It took me a few days. But I did.

In here obituary, it said that she had six grandchildren.

I had to reread it a few times to catch everything. Because I thought that I had just reread a name twice.

That name being Melissa. 

I was included in the obituary.

It's a strange feeling. Strange. I'm sure there's a bigger, more educated word to use. But strange sums it up.

I guess that I never really thought of adoption on both sides before. Because I'm a part of MY family. I'm an Anderson through and through. End of story. But she never stopped wanting me, or thinking of me.

Rest in peace, Barbara.

Melissa